It’s been six months since I miscarried my first child.
Six months since I joined a club of women none of us want to be in. Six months of learning how incredibly common miscarriage is and how many of the couples in my wider circle have experienced pregnancy loss. Six months of asking why (I still don’t know) and journeying in faith.
If I hadn’t miscarried, my child might be sharing my late grandmother’s birthday. Doesn’t that just seem perfect? She passed into glory last month, and new life would be coming into the world on what would have been her 91st birthday next month.
But if I hadn’t miscarried, I wouldn’t be (somewhat anxiously) carrying the child I am now.
So . . . what does that mean? Can I be excited and confused (and maybe still a little angry at God) and still grieving all at the same time? (Yes.)
Blagh. Sometimes I just feel overwhelmed with how complex life is. Let’s focus on a few simple truths:
God is good.
He understands suffering.
He wants us to flourish.
And He asks us to trust in Him.
October is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month, so I thought it would be time to reflect again on my own experience with loss (surprise, getting pregnant again doesn’t mean I’m “over it!”) and offer again the print I designed to deal with my own grief.
For the month of October, I’ll be offering a free 5×7 version of the design that you can download and print however you like. Here’s what it looks like in a frame:
Just click here or on the image, enter your email, and you’ll get a zip file of the .jpg and .pdf in your inbox. If you’re interested in the full size 20×24 version, with or without meaningful dates to you, shoot me an email!
As I mentioned earlier, my grandmother passed away a few weeks ago. At her funeral we sang “When Peace Like a River” and I feel like I finally understood the lyrics — that tug between suffering and peace. Creator me had to do something to hold onto those words.
So, also for the month of October, I’m offering more free downloads. Both of these are 8×10 designs, shown here as they might look in frames:
Whether you’ve experienced pregnancy loss, infant loss, infertility, or have been blessed with healthy pregnancies & children, I pray that God will warm your heart with the knowledge that He is good and it is well.